The Spaces In Between
by Lexi-Nou
Summary: Post series 2 Prom. She knows they could get back to how they were if only there wasn't these spaces and that person, in between. AddisonDerekMeredith love triangle
1. Chapter 1

_Ok so never done this before but it's one of those new year resolutions that I made and have been avoiding for the past six months so ermm yeah lets see how it goes_

_I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters they're all Shonda's and she is one very lucky and talented woman. Yes I am exceedingly jealous_

**The Spaces In Between**

Prom. She hated it the first time round and the second was no different. It could even in fact be worse. Her first prom date was geeky but sweet and she thought that behind the glasses and the sci-fi jargon there was a sweet guy just ready to sweep her off her feet. After all she was no supermodel in her thick rims, braces and gigantic puff ball of a dress which did no favors for her adolescent chub that was still refusing to shift. It was tough, 16, ginger, freckles and it pretty much sucked watching the skinny blondes strut their stuff upon the dance floor with their hunks, rather than having a spindly asthmatic tell her that dancing would cause his joints to stiffen. Second time round, gone were the glasses, the braces, the fru fru dress. Hello stunning red with a gown to match, a pounds lighter, longer and leaner and with drop dead gorgeous spunk on her arm. They danced and she thought it was beautiful, almost perfect their bodies pressed up against each other, cheek to cheek. Until now. Five minutes ago she made the mistake of slipping that hand of hers in his pocket for a tissue, to wipe her nose from the cold. There and then laid the evidence of his latest conquest, of his betrayal, of his lies, of his love for another woman. Her heart had skipped a beat or two as she studied the pair of black pants. She knew who they belonged to. She wasn't stupid. She could feel her heart braking, physically splitting in two and her breathing quickened and she had to battle her way out of the trailer, to the door, where she inhaled the cool air, tears sliding down her porcelain cheeks as she clung to the sides to support her falling body. Skinny blondes still had one up on her, all these years down the line.

Sitting on the step of the caravan she wondered if it was karma at its best. Sure she made her mistake, Mark was the biggest mistake she could have possibly made but she thought that she paid for it. She thought that finally they were working it out, that they were getting back on track, that they could be finally getting back together. She had sacrificed everything for him. Her old job, her home, her friends and family. She was here in Seattle with people who glared daggers into her back everyday, a trailer which she could barely breathe in, facing his bit on the side every day and everyday she watched him look at her across the hall way, a longing in his eyes and she thought that, that was her karma. This, this sliced like a knife through the past few months. Everything she had built herself was beginning to crumble around the edges, and she had spent so many times before picking up the pieces, she didn't know if she could do it again. Perhaps that's why she let him kiss her as he strolled back from the car and sat down beside her.

"Aren't you cold out here?" he questioned noticing her body quiver slightly up and down. Cold? Was it cold? She asked herself. Inside she was cold, he was cold, he was brutal and cruel and she thought that yes perhaps it was cold but it wasn't the worst thing in the world to be sat out here.

"Just having some air before bed." She told him quietly, brushing the tears from her face and giving him a half smile. He nodded and stretched out in front of her looking up at the stars. That was one thing she couldn't deny about this spot, it was beautiful. Terribly beautiful. She could see why he didn't want to leave it. Why he would never want to go back with her.

"I still can't get my head around Richard agreeing to a prom. It's going to be the talking point for the next few weeks." Derek added with a light laugh picking up the bottle of beer that rested beside him and taking it a swig, offering it to her she accepted and took a big gulp letting it fizz down her throat.

"It was nice. Everyone looked beautiful." He nodded in agreement to her lies as she took another sip. "Meredith looked pretty." His head lowered and that was all the confirmation that she needed. Finishing off the bottle she got up to leave and felt his cold hand clamp around hers.

"Not as beautiful as you. Dance with me." It was funny she thought, these lies we tell each other.

"I'm tired."

"I promised you the last dance." She accepted and let him drag her down the steps to what she had decided to be the porch area. She let him slip his arm around her waist and she let her head fall onto his shoulder only to smell the scent of her along his collar. It was vanilla and she knew he liked sweet scents but it was so bitter. Cheap and bitter and it made her eyes water. It contrasted with her expensive French perfume which he had bought her especially for their 10th anniversary. She thought it would remind him but the look on his face as he closed his eyes and the way they swayed silently showed that she was wrong. More than likely this would be the last dance, she thought to herself and let her fingers cling to him that extra bit tighter. "I've been thinking." a statement that made her heart stop once again. 'Don't say goodbye, just yet, don't tell me this isn't working now' she cried in her head sniffling a little on his shirt, his aftershave drifting into her senses making her dizzy with complicated feelings and mixed emotions. "Maybe we should have a house." She pulled away and looked at him, confused.

"A house?" He smiled at her shock and let his hand drift around her face, her skin soft beneath his finger tips.

"This trailer, you've lived here long enough. I mean we can hardly breathe right?"

"So you're wanting space?" He shrugged.

"Maybe a TV, a bathroom which we can both fit in. A wardrobe to hang suits and fancy dresses up in, maybe even a wine bar." Derek chuckled. "You know I forgot how much I like a good drink every once in a while. Remember Margaritas in san Francisco that was a good night." He wondered off to his car.

"I remember down town Boston, a dark underground blues bar, Jack Daniels and ice, you in that red shirt which that bar tender splattered vodka all over." Nodding he pulled out two bottles and closed the door with his leg and walked towards her. She laughed a little at his enthusiastic smile. She realised it had been a long time since he had smiled, at her, like that.

"Well tonight we have trailer and red or white."

"Or both."

"Or both." Slowly she reached for the white and studied the label. It wasn't anything special but this, this moment it was special enough. And for a moment or two as they went back inside and he poured them both a glass she had forgotten about Seattle Grace, Meredith and those panties. It was just the two of them, in prom wear, drinking till they were silly, acting the fool and laughing like the young lovers they once were.

"Look at us; we're like a couple of teenagers." She giggled, brushing her auburn hair from her face, lying herself down onto the bed and starring up at the low ceiling, her long red dress twisting and puckering around her body.

"Except we're allowed to drink and aren't under the watchful eyes of your father!" He laid beside her and watched as her eyes glazed over with memories of the past.

"He always thought you were bad for me."

"And he never let me forget it." He finished off his glass and realised the bottle was empty. Reaching out he grabbed the other and filled up his cup, and filled hers to the brim. She looked at him but accepted without a care. "Those rules, Addison keep your door open, Addison be home by 11.30, Addison...He always looked at me as if I was some thought of criminal." he swirled the drink around in his mouth. It was sharp and bitter and it slid down his throat uncomfortably grazing it slightly. It made it burn. And he could feel it hit his stomach with a heavy empty thud. She rolled towards him.

"You were, you were stealing his little girl away from him, stealing her innocence." she giggled and sipped her wine, her eyes looking over the rim of the glass into his. She paused and slipped it away silently blushing a little. "No matter how old I get I'll always be his little girl." He was over protective and when she was younger she found it infuriating but now looking back she could understand. "It seems like such a long time ago now. Funny to think that back then our only worry was being stumbled upon by my parents." Their eyes met and they held each others gaze, both remembering times long ago, happier times, more carefree. She was right, Derek thought as he noticed how in her eyes she looked more mature, more worn down, it was a long time ago. She looked tired. She still had that essence of youth to her which attracted him all those years ago. He remembered the first day he laid eyes on her, the awkwardness the flustering of cheeks. "Things are different now. I mean now it's Mark and Meredith and,"

"Shut up Addison." She nearly choked on her wine as she turned to face him, his face stern and serious. She watched as he grabbed the bottle of wine and chugged down the last few mouthfuls before hurling it across the side of the trailer. She jumped as it shattered into tiny pieces, ricker-shading around the room. The only sound was of them breathing heavy and her body shook with nerves. "Just shut up." He pulled her close towards him and their lips met forcefully. With an urgency he kissed her, her lips becoming swollen with the intensity as he tugged and sucked and kissed all corners of her mouth. His hand roaming over the back of her head pulling her in closer as if he was trying to melt into her. Her own hands began to slip themselves around him and soon they were tugging at each others clothing. She was undoing the buttons on his shirt and he was undoing the zip on the back of her dress and it was hot and it was sweaty and they became lost. Lost in the moment of skin upon skin and how good familiar can feel. He knew how weak she went when he nuzzled her neck and breathed against her ear, sending goose bumps along her body. She knew how his eyes would burn into hers, how she could kiss along his jaw line, his cheeks, his forehead. They knew how sometimes things could feel so good and sometimes so right.

_Ok so that was the first chapter and i'm now terribly nervous. But basically all i'm gonna say is that if you want to review it then please do, I and my frantically beating heart would appreciate it greatly. Thankies, Lexi Nou xxx_


	2. Chapter 2

_crazy-chica6 - Thank you very much for the very kind and encouraging review, it means a lot! Hopefully you'll enjoy the next chapter also_

* * *

Addison's head began to thud as the sun slipped itself in between the parted curtains warming the spot on the bed where her arm dangled over the edge of the bed. They had parted in the night, took up their relative positions in their bed. It felt like a mountain was between them. She stretched her legs and even her toes couldn't reach him. Sitting up her body felt heavy and she knew that surgery would be a nightmare today. The trailer was dim and along the floor and walls were the scattered remains of their night before. Pulling the sheets up around her naked body she looked down at her sleeping husband, snoring slightly from the alcohol consumption. Her mouth was dry, tongue slightly furry and things in her head they were blurry but she could still remember. She could remember how carried away they had gotten, how what normally was a half hours activity of pain staking uncomfortable glances and moans became hours of pure delight. He made her feel wanted, loved and desired that night. She felt that he wanted her. But catching a glimpse of his jacket strewn across the floor she cursed herself for being such a fool. The alcohol. The desperation. The intensity. She knew it well. Then there was the guilt. Sliding herself out from under the covers she disappeared into the shower, pleased there was somewhere safe and untainted.

He'd heard her leave but couldn't bring himself to call out to her. He didn't know what words to say. For once Derek Shepard was speechless. His head was banging against his skull and he knew that in a few hours he would have to attend work with a clear and focused mind. To be able to do that he couldn't do this. Rolling over he could smell her scent on his pillow, for a while it almost felt as if she still rested beside him. She had fallen asleep before him, he watched as she drifted into a deep slumber, a small smile turning into a worried frown. She was unsettled. He was unsettled. What had happened? What had he been thinking? She was his wife there was nothing wrong with what they'd done and at the time it felt right, it still now a few hours later didn't feel completely wrong but the premise, the premise was all turned over. Getting in the shower he was surrounded by her, from her razor to her soap to the sweet coconut smell of her shampoo. Coconut. Meredith's hair smelt of Lavender. Coconut he decided was as far away from Lavender as you could possibly get. Meredith was as far away from Addison as you could get and yet he had managed to unite with them all in the matter of hours.

He wasn't sure how it started. Meredith was there, there were looks, a tension. He acted on it, excused himself with not much thought, no thought at all to the woman, to the ring he wore around his finger. Addison was right Meredith had looked pretty, simplistically so. That had been what attracted him to her in the first place. Things were simple. Until Addison. It had been good and he had enjoyed it. He got a rush from closing the door and propping her up onto the examination table, running his hands over her body, feeling something different, seeing her revel in ecstasy over him. He had felt powerful. Felt desired. Felt needed and wanted and it was good so very good and he had decided for certain that that was what he wanted. He wanted that every day for the rest of his life.

So why, he questioned, did I tell her we were moving? Why was there a house all of a sudden? Why San Francisco and Boston. And why did he shut her up and kiss her like he had never kissed her before. He wasn't thinking of Meredith. If anything he was trying to forget about Meredith. It had worked. It was different. Like coconut and lavender it was in comparable. Now though the guilt was starting to eat away at him. He felt dirty and he wondered how she managed to do it to him. Drying him self off he got dressed and stumbled towards his car, wondering what words he was going to have to find today.

She'd tried to avoid everyone and anyone as soon as she made it through the doors. It was a mixture of her surroundings and the wine from last night that made her want to throw up her insides in the nearest cubicle. In a place like this it wouldn't be abnormal but the idea that her husband and his mistress could have been together right where she was standing only a few hours previous was getting too much for her to bare. Flustered she battered her way past patients and nurses until she could get into the elevator. A confined place, a breathable place. Leaning against the wall she closed her eyes for a moment and wished it all to go blank, but she was forever there. The image of him and her burnt into the back of her eyelids. She withdrew from her imaginary plight of destruction as the doors opened and in stepped the worst possible person. Meredith smiled sheepishly, looking slightly pale and bedraggled as if she had only had a few hours sleep. Her make up was sketchy and yet she failed to look flawed. Trying to coil herself in the corner, wishing the ground would open up Addison lowered her head and studied the floor to the best of her ability. Meredith slunk in beside her and lent against the opposite wall.

"How's Izzie?" she didn't know why the words had slipped off her tongue or even where they came from but strangely it seemed neutral ground and as they had a few more stops it made sense. She did care after all. She rather admired Stevens, she reminded her of herself in her former years.

"Oh ermm she's coping...I think. Well maybe she isn't. She spent the night on the bathroom floor. She's in bed now, sleeping." She hated the way Meredith would stutter and change her mind mid sentence. She wanted to scream at the girl to think before she spoke, to think full stop. 'Maybe if she was thinking they wouldn't have been…'she pondered as Meredith gave an uneasy smile, brushing a stray mousey strand out of her face.

"That's something." She replied, biting nervously on her bottom lip to keep her stomach from emptying its contents all over the floor. She could feel her hands shaking and her head beginning to pound. The doors opened once more and the eyes of her husband shone directly into hers before flashing to the side seeing Meredith nervously shuffle under his gaze. Derek slipped himself in and she knew immediately that this was too much. "Give her my best." she added before slipping past them all and with a quickened pace heading towards the stairs.

"Addison!" Derek called after her but she raised her hand and waved it off. She was brushing him off. As best as she could do.

The pair stood for a second or two in silence before Meredith broke it.

"This...that thing...it's complicated...too complicated for me. I can't do this. We can't do this." He looked at her as she got nervous and her forehead sweaty and her eyes danced in every direction but his. He liked how she got nervous. It was cute. She was cute in her intern scrubs looking sleepy and troubled. He wished he could wrap her in his arms, smooth down her hair and sooth her. To hear her breathing against him, to smell her scent, feel her warmth. Recollections of last night flooded him and he longed for her. He wanted to rip her free from her scrubs right then and there and devour her up against the wall.

"Can't we?" he questioned stepping closer to her, so close that he could see the freckles upon her cheeks.

"We can't." Her mouth moved in slow motion, sweet cherub lips. They shouldn't he thought as he remembered the promise to Addison of the house. But here she was, sitting pretty, looking vulnerable batting her eyelashes.

"We can't." he uttered back. Her eyes grew wide at his blank expression.

"No because you have a wife and I, I have a vet a vet who thinks I'm smart and funny and beautiful," She said trying to convince herself that Finn was the good man. Of course she knew he was a good man, he was kind and sensitive and patient and he had treated her well and he didn't have a wife he was a good man but she wasn't sure if he was the good man for her.

"I think you're smart, funny and beautiful." She hated when he said things like that to her. Things that made things messy and hazy. Since meeting him everything had been hazy until she knew they could never be because there were lines, there were boundaries. But now, now there were these spaces in between and they were left hovering.

"Don't. Don't say that." she tried to make her way to the door but he grabbed hold of her hand and her eyes began to melt into his.

"But it's the truth."

"Then lie." the doors open and she slipped her hand away from his, leaving him alone in the elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

_Crazy-chica6 - Thanks again! I dunno why Derek never realised it! I haven't seen series 3 yet but i couldn't help but read up on it and the guy needs a big kick up the ass! I must confess that i am an Addek shipper myself but...that doesn't mean i'm gonna make this all fluffy bunnies and rainbows. A bit of drama is good for the soul ;) _

_Cowboys-and-coffee - Firstly thanks for reviewing! And i completely agree, where are all the Addek stories? If Addek can't succeed on screen then they must live on in fan fics lol! Yeah I admit Addie does seem desperate, she might do for a while on and off. She's got a mountain to climb and eventually it will make her stronger. Key word 'eventually'. _

* * *

Meredith knew that Christina had spotted them. She had been spending every waking minute here with Burke, running errands, reading his charts; doing everything she could to keep herself busy, to stop herself from thinking of the possibility of bad consequences. With her eagle eyes she knew she had been spotted. This was not what she needed.

"What were you and McDreamy doing?" Yang pounced before she had even made a chance for a detour. Meredith sighed heavily reaching for her charts for her morning rounds. It wasn't too full and for that she was thankful. Christina stayed by her side as Meredith began to wander down the corridor to room 334 where Mrs. Kent was awaiting her. Mrs. Kent was a sweet old lady in her 70's who could never resist telling her about her past loves, none of which were her husband who would still trundle in every afternoon and do a cross word by her bedside whilst she watched day time TV. Meredith thought life would have stopped getting complicated by that age. "Hello Meredith? Earth to Meredith? You, McDreamy, McElevator give me the god damn McGoss." Meredith halted in front of Mrs. Kent's room and raised her eyebrows at her eagerly awaiting friend. "Too much? Any way give me something. I've been here for hours and I don't think I can stand hearing Burke telling me he's fine, so please Meredith for the love of God give me something."

"There's nothing to give." It was now Christina's time to raise her eyebrows. Meredith shrugged at her and pointed to her chart.

"I saw touching." Meredith froze at Christina's threat. "I saw sexual tension."

"You saw nothing!" She hushed grabbing Yang by the arm and dragging her to the seated area surrounded by trashy mags and a poor excuse of a beverage dispenser. Tapping the button for a coffee she pushed yang into the seat and cowered over her whilst the machine dripped pathetically into the polystyrene cup. She didn't want to be doing this but she knew that with Christina nothing gets dropped until she's happy and she figured that whilst the pair were alone it was the perfect time for a disclosure. Of sorts. "We were talking." she stated simply, eyeing the cup which was only a quarter full.

"And holding hands."

"And he grabbed my hand because I didn't want to talk anymore." Meredith informed her whilst her hands clenched in frustration. She had drunk far too much last night when she left. She had to drink enough to drown out the sound of her phone ringing, so that she could forget that it was Finn and she needed some explaining to do. She wasn't very good at explaining, forgetting or attempting to forget by drowning herself into the bottom of a bottle she could do and she could do it well.

"You told him it was over?" Christina questioned whacking the machine sharply on the side so that it speeded up its pouring. Meredith starred at her confused but she simply shrugged.

"I told him it could never be. He has a wife." Meredith took her cup and sat down sipping it carefully, the warm liquid burnt her tongue but it slipped down perfectly well.

"But..." Meredith sighed and passed the coffee to Yang who took a big gulp. Coffee seemed to be the answer to everything in this place. If you're tired have a coffee. If you're angry have a coffee. If you're happy hell have a coffee. And if you're just not sure what then it certainly doesn't hurt.

"But he said i was smart and funny and beautiful. And he can't say that. He just can't say that to me. Not when he knows that that's what I want to hear. Not when he has a wife."

"You keep saying that."

"But its true. I can't ignore it. We can't ignore it. She's here. Addison is here to stay and she's with him, she goes home to his trailer, to his bed, to his arms." She could feel herself wearing out physically and mentally and the day had only just begun. "She is his wife. I don't want to be the home wrecker. I don't want to be the dirty mistress. I can't be." Her pager bleeped in her pocket and she let out a frustrated cry.

"And then there's McVet." Yang added as Meredith nodded sadly. "And he's a nice guy."

"He is a nice guy." she agreed as Yang passed back the coffee, the pair starring blankly down the corridor.

"Addison? Addison?" Miranda's voice boomed slowly into her consciousness. She had placed herself at her desk, tucked herself safely away within her office with the blinds down and the door shut to avoid people. She hoped that to the outside world it looked as if she was out, perhaps even in surgery and they would come back later. She kicked herself for knowing that such tricks wouldn't work on Miranda Bailey, mainly because they were invented by her. Miranda seemed to have this tell tale sight about her. She could locate where you were hiding with out having to scower the building or call out a search party. It was just instinct. "Addison Montgomery Shepherd!" She had been starring out the window, watching Seattle drift by in the morning. She saw people on their way to work, mothers and fathers doing the school runs, exercise fanatics taking advantage of the long straight paths, running as fast as they could and she pictured themselves amongst them. Running. Running in any direction which would take her away from. here. She swiveled her chair around to face Miranda with an embarrassed flush of the cheeks. "Is everything ok here?" She nodded, perhaps a little unconvincingly for her likening but it seemed to settle the air.

"Just nursing the wounds from the night before." she replied. It wasn't a lie, Bailey could see through lies with her eyes closed. It wasn't even a half truth. It was white just unexplanative and if Miranda wants to interpret it as nursing a hangover, she thought, then let her, because that wasn't a half lie either.

"You do look rather rough." Miranda stated frankly perching herself upon the edge of her desk and studying her friend closely with an intense gaze which had the habit of making Addison squirm uncomfortably.

"Thanks."

"One too many after party drinks with Derek hmm?" She shrugged slinking back into her chair a little more fully, trying to catch a subtle glimpse of her reflection in the glass. Did she really look as bad as she had said? She had tried to look just right this morning. It took her twice to do her makeup, the first time her hand was unsteady and nothing seemed to go right and she looked more like a clown than city chic. And all of her clothes weren't pressed and she didn't want to risk waking Derek, she didn't want to risk getting involved in a conversation which would, heaven forbid, revolve around a lot of awkward silence and her making excuses of a poor recollection.

"Tell me Miranda how you can look so good with a baby, a recovering husband and spending the night with a bunch of wild teenagers and doctors who are so intent on reliving their youth?"

"Because," she started with a smile "I don't have to live in a trailer." Addison couldn't help but crack a smile at the sore sorry state of her life. They didn't use to be like this. They had a nice town house until she slept with Mark. It was perfect, a family home. It would have housed them and two kids like they imagined easily. It had a nice feel, warm and comforting and that day they first stepped into it to have a look around they turned to each other and they just knew, it was written all over their faces that this was the place they were going to spend their lives in. She smirked at the thought. He had carried her over the threshold on their wedding night and was attempting to carry her up the stairs when it got too much and they made love right then and there on the stair case. The same stair case she sat and cried on and begged him not to leave when he had discovered her betrayal. Perhaps it was best she was now in the trailer she thought.

"We're getting a house." she stated simply, fiddling with the end of her pen in her lap nervously.

"Well that's great!" Miranda enthused. "Isn't it?" she questioned notice the lack of excitement on Addison's face.

"Mhm hmm." she agreed and placed the pen back into the pot. It was cluttered and seemed to resemble her mind. She had always liked collecting stationary, daft little bits. '_You can never have enough pens' _she had told Derek at med school and he had laughed and called her a geek, placing his hand on her shoulder and giving it a slight squeeze. From that moment she was smitten and always kept her pens close to her heart. "It's for space."

"Well practicalities would suggest that with the two of you back together a trailer built for one isn't ideal." Addison began to slip her hair back into a tight bun, wrapping the ends round each other, overlapping in a neat effortless manner.

She got up and clipped her pager to her pocket and slipped her coat on around her shoulders, straightening out the creases. At least now she looked more like the part of a respectable doctor.

"I'm sorry Miranda was there something that you wanted?" Addison peered carefully through the blinds to see if the coast was clear for her to make her escape. Something niggled in her head as if to tell her not to be stupid, it was doubtful that Derek would have followed her anyway, maybe she had wanted him to deep down. She couldn't avoid him forever but she didn't know if now was the right time to talk. The corridor was clear and she was grateful.

"There's a girl downstairs in the pit, she's pregnant been in a pretty bad car crash, I was wondering if you could go down and take a look." Bailey stood up and led the way, catching the look of concern on Addison's face as they wondered down the corridor towards the lift. "I have Dr O'Malley dealing with her at the moment." There was a waver of relief and Miranda began to suspect that the idea of Derek and the house was a lot more complex than Addison was giving credit to.

Derek had seen Addison walk down the corridor. He had seen how she had tried to ignore him. He had seen the lip biting she did when she was nervous. He was about to go after her when Bailey had shot him a warning glare and he knew better and so decided to stay well away. He wondered what was said between the pair. Turning his head back to his clipboard he roughly filled in the charts. When did things get so complicated? He asked himself as he signed patients in and out. Things were easy once upon a time. He was sure of it. There hadn't always been this pressure that lurked in his heart and conflicted with his head. Things were so twisted and complicated and he couldn't work out when he caught his reflection in the mirror who it was that was starring back at him. Was it the same man from years ago? Maybe he hadn't changed at all. Maybe he was still the workaholic, the guy who's top priority that should have been his wife was actually his career. Maybe he was the guy giving it a second chance. For the sake of their marriage. Maybe he was that guy and it was just taking time. Or maybe he was the guy who had been hurt and trodden over and who had found comfort and life in the arms of another. Or maybe he was just looking for a distraction, or better yet revenge. No. No he knew Meredith wasn't a distraction. She was his savior.

He was going to drown his sorrows again that night, the night that seemed like years ago. Hit the bottle; ramble on to Joe like every other night until he spotted her, there at the bar in her black dress. She was beautiful. She made his heart pound faster and he could feel the blood rush through his veins. The glint in her eyes told him she was daring, exciting, wild and carefree and he needed that. He just didn't realize that he'd need it night after night after night. 'But then what was last night with Addie?' He pondered and thumped his fist against the nurses' station which caused numerous raised eyebrows. He apologized and decided to follow in the direction of Addison and Miranda. He was going around in circles. His whole body felt twisted and tied. He'd forget it all, he decided as he watched Addison through a gap in the blind tend to a young girl who's face was battered and bloody with her arm in a sling. He'd put the other night with Addison as down to the drink. He was drunk. Alcohol had always had a strong effect on him; it made him do things he normally wouldn't dream of doing. The pair could laugh it off when they go home and they would go back to their normal, rather mundane but never the less comfortably safe routine.

And Meredith, she had made it clear in the elevator that they couldn't be. He would just swallow his pride, he decided as Addison gave the girl a reassuring smile. Things would be ok; they'd just go back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

_Cowboys-and-coffee - Thanks again for reviewing! Yeah I have a love/hate thing going on with Derek also and I'm glad that its coming across. I mean the guy is seriously flawed when he can't see how great our stunning red head is, but when he does it makes it even more beautiful! And thanks for the Meredith compliment, I wasn't sure at first whether to indulge in her view but something was missing if i left her out (mainly some good old fashioned whinning, oh the woe)_

_simbagirl - Awww thank you so very much! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Addek is the only way to go ( but i feel that maybe you have to scoot around Merder to get an even better appreciation for it lol)! They're such a great couple, they're hot when they're all loved up and fiesty when they're not. Damn that chemistry!_

_devane - A big thank you to you also!! I think Derek is driving me a lil bit crazy too, especially as it seems that he may be a flip-flopper for a while longer (i love that word 'flip-flopper', made me chuckle) And don't worry other fav characters will be popping up more often in the next few chapters to add a bit of spice_

_Thanks to all you guys so far for reviewing, I really appreciate your comments and as long as you guys are still reading i'll keep writing. Lexi-Nou xxx_

* * *

"I'm Dr Shepherd." Addison told Ciara Jenkins with her best comforting smile. The 15 year old girl looked completely in a state of shock as she sat up right in the hospital bed, her forehead badly cut and bruised, her eyes blood shot and swollen. Bailey said that she was in a car with her boyfriend. Young and reckless they had been racing friends down the block but it was raining and the roads were slippery and sent them spinning and crashing into the side of the local 7-eleven.

"I haven't..."she stuttered and paused and looked up at Addison's baby blue eyes and began to well up, placing a hand over her stomach she shook her head. "I haven't felt it move since the accident...I think…I think it could be,"

"We're just gonna smear some of this onto your stomach and then we'll take a look hey?" she interrupted pulling the scanner along side and grabbing her jelly. She could see sadness in the girl's eyes and her heart sank. They both knew deep down that with the extent of her injuries and the shock there was no way that that baby could have survived. Addison gave her hand a slight squeeze before lifting up her top to reveal a badly bruised stomach and ribs. Addison began to roll the scanner over Ciara's stomach, her youthful skin had tiny little stretch marks dotted along. They would be a permanent reminder. "How far along are you Ciara?"

"Oh bout 7 months." Addison raised her eyebrows slightly in shock.  
"I know, I was 14. But it just kinda happened. We were in love, he loved me and well it felt right you know. I wanted to show him how much I loved him and...I just forgot one thing, careless I know." she blushed a little and sighed.

"I was actually envying you on how slim your figure is and what a perfectly tiny bump you had." Ciara chuckled some more. Addison smiled a bit of relief. It was good that she was relaxing and opening up to her. She wanted to make this easy.

"My mum was the same with me. Good genes." As Addison rolled over the bump she looked at the monitor and felt Ciara's hand clasp around hers. "You don't have to tell me. I know." her eyes were watery but her face brave and she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. Addison chewed her bottom lip until it bled as the baby laid perfectly still in Ciara's womb. "He looks peaceful right? You don't think he was frightened?" her voice quivered and eyes beamed up at her eyes big and wide and Addison remembered that she was talking to a 15 year old girl. One brave girl.

"No. He wouldn't have felt a thing." There was a relief in Ciara's face and Addison felt that some comfort was better than none.

"Good." Ciara placed her hand upon her stomach and gave it a slight rub. Addison turned towards Bailey who stood with pity in her eyes at the young girl, her eyes flicking back and forth between her and the monitor and Addison knew that she was thinking about her own son and how lucky she was.

"Would you like me to see if you're boyfriend is fixed up? I'm sure he'd to know." Bailey offered pointing towards the corridor when the young lad laid out, his leg in plaster. Ciara shook her head her braids dancing across her shoulders.

"He's not the father. The father did a runner. Sometimes love just isn't enough." she said simply and slipped down her t-shirt to cover her bump as if to say goodbye. The girl was wise beyond her years, Addie thought to herself. Why couldn't love be enough? Why couldn't Derek remember the love they had and think of the love they could have? Her throat dried and she cleared it with a cough, silencing the room.

"What's going to happen won't be nice." she warned, placing the scanner back on the trolley and placing away the jelly, taking her hand in hers and warming it slightly. It was so cold. Her finger tips like ice and it trembled in her clasp. Ciara nodded.

"In a strange way it's a blessing." Addison looked to Bailey as her hand slipped around her wrist, her fingers pressing into the skin. "I wouldn't have been a very good mum and he, he over there doesn't love me, not really, and he didn't even know I was pregnant when he got with me. He's just doing the honorable thing. It wouldn't have worked in the long run. I couldn't have done it by myself." Her voice slowed and turned to a whisper. "This...this is easier." her eyes shut and hand went limp in hers.

"Call the crash team!"

Meredith gave Mrs. Kent the thumbs up as she checked over her charts and passed her the pills and water. The old lady popped them in her mouth and smiled. "Can you raise your tongue please Mrs. Kent." Mrs. Kent rolled her eyes and swallowed hard and proceeded to open her mouth and reveal its now empty contents to Meredith who smiled warmly with approval.

"Sometimes you people treat me as a child." Mrs. Kent folded her arms over her chest sulkily and turned to the window. Meredith thumbed her fingers through the blinds to see only the dreary darkness of cloud that had began to take over the city.

"Mrs. Kent, George…I mean Doctor O'Malley informed me that you have this habit of hiding your pills under your pillow until you have your free hour where you attempt to sell them to the patients on psych claiming there magic beans." a mischievous grin spread across her face.

"Me dear? I swear that O'Malley he's a nice enough boy but he has a wild imagination."

"In return for cigarettes!" Meredith added as Mrs. Kent rolled her eyes in defeat, pulling open her side draw and thrusting the young intern her carton.

"It's tough you know. A woman my age having to give up smoking! I've been smoking my entire life and now, now you want me to quit." she huffed and puffed with a playful tint in her surprisingly bright hazel eyes.

"Mrs.-"

"Please Dear Call me Violet."

"Violet." Meredith began, her attention wavering as she watched Derek pass the door and look in on her briefly. It made her go hot under the collar. She stuttered and stalled and her cheeks began to flush bright red. She was glad that Bailey wasn't around to see her fault.

"I know I know if I don't stop then you can't operate. I heard you the first time. But I'm an addict and I'm stubborn and I'm used to getting my own way so it's just going to take time." The old woman jeered smoothing down the side of her bed and thumbing the white cotton of her sheets. "Now you are going to give me your excuse."

"Excuse me?" Meredith turned around shocked only to be met with Violet's intimidating motherly glare and a pat firmly on the side of her bed.

"You can't hide anything from me girly. Now sit yourself down and tell me why it is that when ever that dishy doctor with the dark hair and tight ass walks by you go all beetroot on me."

"Violet! I do, I do don't I!" Meredith sat down defeated. "We had this thing, once, a while ago. But he had a wife."

"Oh." Violet grinned practically from ear to ear with excitement.

"He still does. She works here too. But I didn't know because they were separated. But now they're trying again. And last night, last night we..."

"You're his dirty little mistress!" She bellowed and Meredith hushed her instantly. Violet shrank into her pillow and placed her wrinkled bony finger to her lips pressing it with a smirk.

"But I'm seeing this guy, Finn, and he's such a nice guy."

"But he's boring." Meredith shook her head. "No dear he is. He doesn't make you go beetroot and he doesn't make your heart flutter and those butterflies...they just don't spread their wings in his presence do they?" Meredith shook her head shamefully and collapsed her head into her hands. "I should know!" Meredith let out a slight laugh and pushed her hair back from her face, starring out of the door towards where Derek had previously been. "Don't end up like me dear. 70 odd wishing you were 21 again! You only get one chance in life and if you think that you could have a second chance of happiness with this man that does make you get butterflies then you have to grasp it with both hands!"

"But Finn?" Violet took Meredith's hand in hers and rubbed it tenderly and for a second it felt to her as if she was sharing a secret with her mother when she was little. That touch, that sensitivity and care. That bit of advice and support was all she needed. Violet turned to her and clenched her tightly.

"Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind." Mr. Kent brushed through the doors and Meredith shot up as Violet slunk even further back into her pillow, her head turning once again to the blinds. The old man smiled wearily at her as she passed with a slight nod and watched as he settled himself down in the chair beside her bed and began to fill in the crossword, not a single word passing between them.

"Addison! Addison wait up!" Addison was practically power walking along the corridor, in extremely high heels. It was something that amazed and baffled Derek as he attempted to catch her hand as she passed him but failed, barely grazing her finger tips.

"Not now Derek." She smirked to herself a little, normally it was the other way round, it was her running after him and he dismissing her. But now was not the time. Her head was full and cloudy and she needed space, just a moment or two to process what had just happened. She pushed open the family room door and slumped herself down heavily onto the sofa sinking into the creases. The nursing staff hadn't opened the blinds from the night before and the room was dark and still. It had a musty smell that no matter how much cleaning products were used couldn't budge. It was the smell of nerves and fear and worse of all grief. She looked around the room and remembered how many time she had found herself being the barer of bad news or holding the hands of nervous relatives trying to be of comfort. She let out a huge sigh and before she knew it tears began to trickle down her face. She wasn't sure why she was crying. She had grown strong, caring but strong and tried never to let patients get to her. Yet she sat in the dark feeling weak and pathetic crying into the palms of her hands.

Derek opened the door quietly and peered in. Addison looked small and sunken, hidden by the shadows but he could tell from the quiet muffles that she was crying. She looked so helpless and vulnerable alone in the shadows and instinct took over. He walked towards her and sat down beside her, slipping an arm over her shoulders and drawing her in close to him. He ran his hand up and down her back and smoothed her hair tenderly. "Tough day?" he asked and she nodded blowing her nose on the tissue he handed her out of his pocket. She half expected Meredith's knickers to appear but she made and mental block and focused on the feeling of her being in his arms.

"I think things have just gotten on top of me that's all." He wasn't completely convinced but he remained silent just holding her. She was warm and soft and for a while fragile. He didn't like to admit it but he loved her most when she was like this, when her walls broke down and he could take care of her. Addison had a way of holding things all together so much so that it felt unbelievable, but here crying in his arms, he remembered that she wasn't wonder woman, she had feelings too and a pang of guilt twinged in his heart. "She was 15 Derek. She lost her baby and she looked up at me and she was so strong. I don't think I could ever be as strong as that." He shook his head at the strongest person he knew. "Do you know what she told me? That it was easier this way! How could losing your child ever be easy?"

"She was 15 Addie. Naive."

"And now, now someone else has lost their baby. It's not right Derek, it's just not right." He drew her closer and rocked her tighter. He knew that sometimes Addie's job could affect her more than anyone else could realise.

"Some things just aren't meant to be." She raised her head and looked up at him deep in the eyes. Those blue eyes that made her knees weak. She could see into his soul, she could see a side of him that she knew no one else ever would.

"Do you think so? Do you think that's why we --"

"You know I've finished for the day." he interrupted shuffling her in a more up right position as he stood up and made his way to the door. "Do you fancy grabbing some take out, take it back to the trailor? I don't know if I fancy cooking." Addison starred blankly at her husband. His frame had slunk a little and his hands fidgeted nervously by his side. She swallowed hard and wiped the tears from her eyes harshly with the back of her hand, taking in a deep breath and shook her head. She got up and straightened out her jacket and fixed her hair back into place from his ruffling.

"I've still got some things to do. You get what you want, I'll just pick up something here and I'll see you later." He nodded and the pair exited the room and went their separate ways. She stopped half way and turned back to see him walking past with out a care. It had been the first time they had talked all day and he still couldn't say the words she wanted to hear.


	5. Chapter 5

_goldentail - Think we may have to repair that slightly broken heart of yours and pave the way for some happy Addek loving, what do you say? ;) Thanks so much for your reviews, i really appreciate them!_

_dolphin18paradise - Yeah! It is a tangled web which they weave. Thank god it's just fiction lol. Thanks for the thumbs up, hope you enjoy the rest of whats to come!_

_Cowboys-and-coffee - I'd say those pills and lack of cigarettes are messing with the woman's morals, she's a right lil devil's advocate! And as for Derek...he has his moments, hopefully there will be some more on the way soon._

_simbagirl - Glad you're still loving it! Oh my god, do it, do it, do it! Write an Addek please! You'll at least be guaranteed __me as a reader, there just aren't enough Addek fics out there!_

* * *

"Will you just pick up the god damn phone!" Izzie bellowed out from the hallway. George and Callie nodded at Meredith who stood at the counter chewing her finger nails until they were just stubs.

"He's been ringing every ten minutes Mer." George added as Izzie stood in the door way, her toothbrush frantically scowering away at her teeth, her arm folded around her tiny waist, scowling at her friend. Meredith peered down at the screen but still couldn't bring herself to let her hand push the button.

"You're hopeless!" Izzie spluttered with a mouthful of toothpaste, walking back to the bathroom to rinse. It had been like this since they had come of shift. There had been an awkward aura around Meredith, even more awkward than usual and everyone felt that they were walking on egg shells. Callie rolled her eyes at the whole situation. It was beginning to make her feel physically sick. All this unnecessary drama and pandering to Meredith. It had annoyed her how George had been so sickly supportive of a situation which Callie believed could be simply sorted. Standing up she reached across the counter and picked up the phone.

"Oh hi Finn! Yeah it's Callie, oh good thanks. You know what you're just in luck!" Meredith glared at George's girlfriend and George hid his head in shame as Callie simply smiled back. "She's just stepped through the door, I'll pass you on." Callie smiled smugly and thrusted the phone into Meredith's chest. Meredith be-grudgingly picked it up and placed it to her ear.

"Oh hi, I ...er..shower you know. Dinner? Ermm.." George raised his head to Callie who was picking up her jacket from the table and grabbing her bag.

"Hey i thought you were going to stay here tonight." He shot up as she proceeded to make her way to the front door. He ran behind her like a dog on heels and she still ignored him and began to open the door but he shoved it closed and stood in front of her. "Callie? You shouldn't have done that you know." Callie sighed and shook her head with a light sarcastic laugh.

"Oh get over yourself will you George. Meredith is a big girl now she should learn to take some responsibility for her actions for once in her god damn life." his eyes widened with shock at the bitchyness of her comments. He knew that they pair didn't get on amazingly after the history between him and Meredith but he thought that they were over that, that finally they were becoming friends of sorts. "And you George, you've got to stop waiting around like a sad puppy to be Meredith's shoulder to cry on, because that's all you're going to be. So will you please all of you get over yourselves and you're melodramas and for once in your life start acting like adults." She shoved him forcefully out of her way and opened the door, storming out onto the street leaving him speechless. He closed the door silently and turned around. Meredith stood frozen in the kitchen entrance, starring at him rather puzzled. He simply shrugged in response. He knew better than to go after her when she was in one of these moods. Izzie stood smugly by the bathroom before vanishing off in her bedroom.

"He wants to take me for an Italian." She blurted and crumpled to an exhausted heap on the floor in her sweat pants. He looked down at Meredith, the broken girl, the confused girl. He let his body slink slightly too the floor.

"She thinks I'm not in to her." he added and the pair starred across into each others eyes blankly.

"We're crap." she announced simply and folded her hands in her lap in contemplation.

"You look as bad as I feel!" Callie announced as she sat herself down next to the red head neo-natal surgeon at the bar. Joe immediately appeared but hovered slightly back from the two women until they raised their heads in his direction. "Tough day?" She questioned slipping off her jacket and finally meeting Joe's eyes.

"Try a tough few months." Addison admitted defeated, checking the bottom of her glass which barely had a mouthful.

"I'll have a Bacardi and coke." Callie smiled sweetly at Joe who nodded approvingly, it was her usual, she didn't need to ask.

"Vodka and orange." Addison piped, shoving the glass back to the edge of the bar. Both Callie and Joe raised their eyebrows knowing that Addison normally favored something off the wine list. Joe shrugged at Callie and got to work fixing the girl's drinks. Addison turned to Callie and attempted to wipe off her frown and strike conversation. "Shouldn't you be at George's?" It was obviously the wrong topic of conversation as when Joe placed the drink down in front of her she knocked it back straight away.

"Meredith's. It's Meredith's house. George is just her leech." Addison raised her eyebrows questioningly. Joe appeared with a bottle of Bacardi and Vodka and placed it down in front of them.

"On the house." They smiled shamefully and thanked him.

"Leech huh?" Callie nodded and began to pour herself another.

"Yep. He's always around her. Always wanting her. Clinging, sucking to her flaming side. He's a leech." Addison gave a light chuckle and placed her hand upon her friend's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze as she once again downed the glass's contents. Her shoulders were stiff and tense and Addison could understand all too well. "Why can't he just be a man and stand on his own two feet every once in a while. Why can't he just stand up for me, focus on me. I am his girlfriend." Addison nodded vaguely and downed her own drink. "You?" Addison took this as her opening to fill in with the details of her problem. She had never really been one to spill her heart out and especially to work colleagues, except maybe the exception of Richard. Talking was hard. Yet something about Callie made her feel at ease, or perhaps it was the vodka, she wasn't sure but she knew that for once she didn't want to hold back. Here was a woman telling her the ups and downs of her life in confidence and she, she decided, could do the same. 'Hell maybe you'll even feel better' Addie thought to herself as she began to top up her glass.

"Kinda the same thing actually. Derek...he...he slept with Meredith...again." She swallowed hard and studied Callie intensely awaiting for a reaction but she simply nodded. She wasn't shocked or surprised. She just let it wash over her in an understanding and accepting manner and she was pleased for it. She wasn't pitying her or bombarding her with her sympathies, neither was she getting all self righteous and demanding that she walked out on him. She just sat there and listened. "Last night, after prom. I found her pants in his jacket pocket."

"You didn't say anything?"

"No."

"Mhm. Did he?"

"Not a word. In fact he asked if I wanted to get a house with him and we ended up drinking and having the most mind blowing sex we've ever had. I'm a fool." her eyes began to well but before Addison could let a tear slip down her porcelain skin Callie was handing her a drink and nodding with reassurance. She knocked it back and it burnt her throat but it felt better. It at least took the aching off her heart.

"These men need their heads sorted. I mean they have beautiful women, women who'd do anything for them and they're both chasing some skinny little girl who can't make up her mind." Addison smiled, someone else understood and someone else felt the angst towards Meredith Grey. "Blame them, blame Meredith! But don't ever blame yourself!" Callie announced a little dramatically, the bar questioning slightly with the tense atmosphere.

"I slept with Mark."

"Nah ah. Don't blame yourself!" Callie held out her glass and Addison raised hers and the pair toasted to a blame free evening. "You know you should take the house." she slurred, after a further set of numerous shots. Both were getting rather tipsy. Talking a little too loud. Smiling a little too much. If the chief had saw either of them he would have sent them home and told them not to bother coming in until they had sorted themselves out. It was different for Addison. She had never turned the bottle to drown her emotions, to numb the pain. But as she sat there with Callie and they laughed and moaned and said numerous four letter words, she never shed a tear and it was fun. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"Really?" she questioned noticing shamefully how much of the bottle had gone.

"Really! Call his bluff if that's what you think it is. But tell him! Tell him it's a great idea and do it. Get out of that god damn awful trailer and demand that house that you deserve."

"I do deserve it." She grumbled, her mouth numbing and lips full. "I deserve hot water and a closet."

"Damn right you do woman!"

"And a bath. I want a bath!"

"Have your bath! With bubbles and champagne and chocolates and...and..." Cassie began to stumble as she slipped herself off the chair and began to pull on her jacket and button it up rather clumsily.

"And?" Addie questioned following after her as she made her way out onto the street to hail the taxi cabs.

"And have your husband! Have Derek. Preferably naked. Hell have Derek naked and dripped in chocolate." Addison's eyes widened in shock and Callie gave her a dirty wink. "What? You can't tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind!" A taxi pulled up along side and she grabbed Addison by the shoulders, placed her in and slammed the door waving drunkenly like an idiot at her through the window, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Addie smiled and gave a small wave.

"Where to love?"

"Home." she declared happily. "Take me home to my husband."

"You're late." Derek grumbled as Addie slipped in beside him in one of his t-shirts. She snuggled up to him close and placed her arm around his body, not wanting to let go. He could smell the drink on her; he knew where she'd been. It wasn't like her but then he didn't feel he was in a position to question, he decided he didn't know if he wanted the answer.

"Sorry." she whispered coarsely, the alcohol had dried her mouth and her throat burned from shouting with Callie. "Derek did you mean it when you said we should get a house." A silence fell between them and Addie wasn't sure if he had heard her or if he'd fallen back to sleep. Derek himself laid there and wondered for a second if it was better to pretend to be sleeping. It would at least buy him time. But as he lay there he remembered Meredith and the elevator.

_'We can't."_

_"We can't?"_

_"No because you, you have a wife and I, I have a vet'_

"If you want one." he replied softly listening to her breathing. Her arm slipped from him a little and her heard her roll over.

"I'm asking you." she enforced and he rolled over to face her. Her make up was smudge and her hair matted. There was a glaze over her eyes but from the tone of her voice he knew that despite all the alcohol she was serious.

"Yeah. Lets get a house." Her face practically beamed up at him and he couldn't help but smile back. This was good, he decided. They were both smiling, perhaps a house would be good, a firm step forward in their relationship. She lent up and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. He held her close and kissed her forehead lovingly before laying her back down and curling around her, clasped in each others arms. It reminded her of the good times, they'd fall asleep in each others arms every night and awake in the same position each morning.

"With a bath." yawned Addison, her eyes fluttering closed.

"With a what?" he questioned but she was dead to the world. He stroked her head and nestled down beside her, inhaling the coconut like he used to.

The restaurant was quiet. It was late. She had been late. It had taken her over two hours to psych herself up and get ready which was as she declared to Izzie earlier 'completely un-Meredith'. It was a beautiful restaurant and Italian was her favorite and she couldn't fault Finn in the slightest. He was smartly dressed and looked handsome in the candle light that glowed around them. It was very romantic, with flowers and painted murals and soft music. It was beautiful and as she sat there she couldn't help but feel that if she was with Derek she'd appreciate this so much more. "How's your pasta?"

"Mhm?" Finn was looking at her with a small confused smile. She had been in a daze ever since they had arrived. She had been sat there thinking things over, what she was going to say, when she would say it, what the possible outcomes would be.

"It's just you've been pushing that forkful around your plate for the past five minutes, if you don't like it then we can always go somewhere else." he leaned in and whispered not to cause embarrassment. He was always very thoughtful like that, putting others first, never wanting to make a scene, never wanting peoples feelings to get hurt.

"No. No! It's fine, it's lovely, it's just that I'm..."

"Going on a crash diet and cutting out carbs? Because Meredith you know that you're gorgeous right and you don't need to! And those things never work anyway." She laughed and lent across the table and clenching his hand to hush him. He flushed red. She liked how he rambled sometimes, it reminded her of herself. Sometimes it was nice not to feel completely alone in this world.

"I'm just tired that's all."

"Oh of course you are." he took a sip of the wine and she withdrew her hand taking her napkin from her lap and patting her mouth softly before folding it onto the table. He looked at her adoringly and she couldn't help but wonder if she was going to make a big mistake. He was a kind, gentle man and he didn't pressure her on any front and she knew that she could do with that. Less pressure was always a bonus. He'd wait for the end of the earth for her. Part of it made her feel flattered the other part sick. She looked down at her half eaten meal and felt terrible. It wasn't cheap and he always insisted on paying. "I can take you home if you want?" he offered finishing the last morsel of food on his plate and looking around for the nearest waiter. She thought about it. Home would mean sleep, but she didn't think she could, nor did she like the fact of being confronted with George and Izzie and their questions.

"You know I feel like something sweet. I could do with a sugar rush and this place does some amazing pecan pie if you fancy sharing it with me?"

"You don't share Meredith." He cocked his eyebrow at her playfully. They had bought an ice cream sundae not long ago after her insisting that she could only manage a mouthful she ate her share and most of his, but he didn't mind. He liked the glint she got in her eye as she shoveled down the ice cream.  
"You can fight me for it." He let out a laugh and nodded, catching the eye of the waiter. Meredith slunk a little further in her seat. She could do this; it would just take time and now, she decided, was defiantly not the right time.


End file.
